How to Become More Self-Confident

by Bonnee Proo 09/22/2019

Many people define self-confidence as the feeling of trust in your own abilities and judgment. While that may be true, it doesn’t really describe the progressive continuum in developing confidence in yourself. That means, you may not be confident in one area, but gradually are becoming more confident as you go through the process of trying, failing, tweaking, trying again, succeeding a little bit, etc. Confidence in yourself is not a yes/no, on/off deal.

It’s a feeling

Some days you feel more confident, others you don’t even if you’ve felt confident in that area in the past. Many things can contribute to how you’re feeling about succeeding in one area. If you’re ill or under the weather, your confidence may ebb. If your skin broke out or your hair isn’t cooperating, that might dent your confidence. But, sometimes it’s just that you haven’t done something recently that you’ve done well at in the past. For most people, the challenge isn’t in trying something for the first time. It’s working it a second time and failing after they’ve already succeeded to some degree. They don’t want to not live up to themselves.

Talking down to yourself promotes this feeling. The only way around this is to step out and do it. Of course, if you fall flat on your face, you may not want to do it again, but really, failing gives you an opportunity to make adjustments and improvements.

Who’s in charge?

The challenge is that your feelings aren’t always controlled by you. Sometimes they’re controlled by your gut microbes. “What?” you say. Bugs? Well, yes, the bacterium that lives in your gut. The growing body of evidence says that the feel-good hormones in your body like serotonin and dopamine. That means if your gut flora is not healthy, you may feel less confident.If confidence eludes you even though you know you can do it, perhaps you should work on a gut-friendly diet.

Stop over-training

When you over-train a muscle, it ends up sprained or strained and needs time to heal. When you over-train your psyche, you fill your mind with so much information that you overwhelm yourself. Don’t think you have to do it all or try it all at once. Instead, try things the way a baby does. A little at a time, a step up, a fallback—do that until you know you can take that second step. If you’re always a “no” person, try to say “yes” every third time. If you’re a “yes” person and therefore get taken advantage of, practice saying “no” until you can say it firmly.

If one of the things you’re not confident about is buying a home, don’t try to do it on your own. Utilize the expertise and experience of your professional real estate agent.

About the Author
Author

Bonnee Proo

A Penn State undergrad with an MBA from University of Redlands, I specialize in the sale of new and existing homes in San Diego County. Licensed for 12 years in the Real Estate and Mortgage Banking industries, I have a strong background in Mortgage Banking and Investment property. Prior to real estate. I spent 18 years as a Corporate Accountant specializing in Healthcare and Biotechnology. I’ve always been a "numbers person.” However, my joy comes from working with and helping people make well-versed decisions with sometimes the largest investment they will ever make in their life…their home.


Leveraging my experience over the years, I am known for outstanding client service, available 7 days per week or whenever called upon to assist, execute, negotiate, guide or encourage. I strongly believe it is my duty to not only represent my clients to the best of my ability, but also to educate them throughout every step of the home buying (or selling) process, arming them with topnotch information and market insight so that they are able to make the best decisions possible. I am honest and trustworthy. I wholeheartedly believe that commitments are made to be kept. Also, I am extremely hardworking and knowledgeable about the real estate/mortgage industries and I have an EXCELLENT team of affiliates (lender, escrow, title, inspectors, etc.) with whom I work that are just as hardworking and knowledgeable in their respective lines of work, and always ready to assist.


During my spare time, you will either find me swing dancing or swinging a golf club. I also enjoy walking/hiking or spending time at the gym always working on trying to stay healthy; socializing with friends; and spending quality family time with husband, Phillip and my sassy, little fur-baby, Sadi.


 


AFFILIATIONS


National Association of Realtors (NAR)


California Association of Realtors (CAR)


Pacific Southwest Association of Realtors (PSAR)


Senior Real Estate Specialist (SRES)


San Diego Regional Chamber of Commerce (Ambassador)


East County Chamber of Commerce (Ambassador)


University of Redlands (Alumni Board)


Meals on Wheels (Volunteer)